Maybe I'm Enjoying It A Little Too Much...

Hehehe. Through no fault of my own, everyone at work now calls the boss "Chuckles". And he is visibly uncomfortable with the dainty sounding nickname. It's kinda fun to watch him squirm.

What NOT To Write About...

I really don't like it when I wait till the last minute to post each day. I'm always yawning like crazy and grasping for a topic to talk about, any topic, but nothing seems good enough. Or, rather, it's not that it's not good enough, it's that I couldn't possibly expand on it. Does that make sense? Let me elaborate...

Off the wall topics that have nowhere to go:

The only thing I saw in the way of news today was the asinine non-stop reporting on the Britney/K-Fed divorce. The only thing I gleaned from all that non-sense was that I will now only refer to him as Fed-Ex. See? Isn't that a stupid thing to write about? Why do I read this trash?

My boss is still a moron, but the balance has been restored somewhat because we have a new person on the crew who has as much power as The Chucky-poo(p) and this new person is benevolent and kind. This has made a world of difference in my working environment.

We've been out of creamer at the house for the last three days, but my sweet bf still makes coffee every morning. I may be a coffee snob. I have to have French Vanilla Creamer or it's just gross. He thinks it's fine with just milk, blech. I bought creamer at the store tonight, and lo and behold...we're out of coffee. Ironic, don't you think?

I watched the History Channel tonight. The strangest, most fascinating shows come on that channel sometimes.

Ooops. I forgot to tell my boss that the kids are out of school on Friday for Veteran's Day. Great.

Oh, another great thing about the Blogger Beta is the spell check. It's much better now. There's no pop-up window showing misspellings, it's just highlights the incorrect words and when you click on the word, it shows a drop-down-like menu of suggestions. WAY better.

Ok, now that I've rambled my way past nine-thirty, I think I'll call it a day.

The Value Of Today's Education

My best friend, Trixie, and I email each other several times a day. You know, the usual stuff, our significant others, stress over bills, work and the like. Lately, though, our conversations have gravitated more towards the general bitching and moaning over the injustices wrought upon us by our dictator-like bosses. Although we have concurred that mine is, in fact, a total douchebag, we realized that it’s pretty f-ing funny, too.






One of my seemingly never-ending tasks is to proof-read documents and letters that WoodChuck has to prepare and send out almost everyday. Now, don’t start with the hate-mail, people. I may make a mistake or two from time to time, but at least I have the presence of mind to look at the said mistake and say to myself, “Hmm. That just doesn’t look quite right.” WoodChuck, on the other hand, will write things like this:






“Up on acceptence of this charges I will roll this costs an any other changes in to an AIA approved for mat as soon as possible.”






Um, yeeeaaah. And then, when I go back to him with this,






“Upon acceptance of these charges, I will roll these costs and any other changes into an AIA approved format as soon as possible.”






the man actually has the nerve to argue with me about.






For example,






“Are you certain it should be ‘these’ instead of ‘this’?”






“Yes, the word ‘charges’ is plural therefore you need to use the plural form of the pronoun ‘this’, used as an adjective for ‘charges’.”






“Are you sure that a coma is appropriate in this place?”






Agh!!! The man thinks I’m an idiot! He actually thinks that he is sooo much smarter than me. And yet, at the same time, he doesn’t realize that “upon” is one word, not two. Or “format”, for that matter! He is driving me nuts!






Listen, I realize that I am not the smartest smarty-pants on the planet, ok? I may be a know-it-all most of the time, but I make mistakes just like everybody else. When I write on my blog, I use lots of sentence fragments, and misspell many a word. But, that is how you convey feeling. It’s how we speak in real life. If I were typing a formal letter to a business or whatnot, of course I would be using all the proper grammar rules. The point I am getting at here is: this man is beyond stupid. And he has a college ed-jew-mah-kay-shun.






Let me just clarify what I mean by “beyond stupid.”






As I said before, Trixie and I discuss this topic ad nauseum each day. So, when I filled her in on the event described above, she had this to say:






“...Truly, your version is correct and his is so incredibly, unbelievably WRONG. You should just let him look like an ass next time, ROFL. Can’t you sneak into his office and turn on his language editor in Word? Wouldn’t that at least show him all the red- and green-underlined junk that he would create? I have no doubt his entire page or each sentence would be nothing but red and/or green! LOL.”






Um, yeah, remember beyond stupid? His Word editor is ON. It goes beyond natural acceptable levels of stupidity here. I could be standing over his shoulder and see the green and red pop up, and it's like he doesn't even see it. And then, he will sometimes ask me to edit over his shoulder before he prints it out, and I will say,






"See where that green line is under 'their'?"






And he will say, "Yeah?"






And I will say, "Well...(trying to give him a sec to figure it out on his own)...it should be ' t.h.e.r.e.'."






"Oh, really? You think?"






"Yeah, that's what that green line is for."






"What green li...oh, ok. I see it now. Hmm, wonder why it wasn't there before?"






"Oh, it was."






"No, I'm pretty sure I didn't see it until now."






"Okaaay. Let's go on to the next one..."






Do you see why I just want to punch him in the head??? If this man were sweet, or remotely funny, or even just cute (ok, even cuteness wouldn’t make up for the way he is), maybe this would be ok. I’d probably pity him and not make such a big deal out of it. But this man is an ASS MONKEY. You can read here some of my thoughts on how he treats me. I have vented enough for one day, people. My brain hurts.

Life's Little Pleasures

Ahhh, it's the little things in life that make me truly happy.



This morning my boss asked for his paycheck (we normally receive them on Thursday and pass them out on Friday), but they hadn't come in yesterday or this morning because of the holiday. So, I told him that they weren't in yet. He was upset because he's leaving early today and wouldn't be able to get his paycheck before he left. That's life's little pleasures #1.



Then, just as he was getting ready to walk out the door, his boss (the REALLY big-wig) comes in the door and starts talking about how they need to sit down and discuss this whole long list of stuff. That's life's little pleasures #2.



Is it wrong that I'm getting so much glee from my boss' discomfort? Well, probably a little, but what am I going to do? Funny is funny.

And The "Asshole Of The Year" Award Goes To...

Dear Boss,


I am writing to you today because I am fed up with your bull-shit. I am a highly-educated, dependable, hard-working, dedicated employee and I am tired of being treated like a retarded, unwanted step-child.

You continue to insult me on a daily basis as if you think I will somehow find this funny. It's not.

I want to ask you if I am performing my job to your satisfaction. I know the answer to this question. Without a doubt, I am the best assistant that you have ever had, yet you continue to treat me as though I am an ungrateful child.

I do not appreciate being patronized, especially by someone who cannot even spell that word. I hope you realize that most high-school drop-outs can spell "deteriorate". This is just one of many grammatical errors that I have to correct for you on a daily basis. Also, I do not understand how you graduated with honors from collage without knowing the difference between "its" and "it's" and "your" and "you're". Did you have someone, a girlfriend perhaps, editing for you even back then? I find this completely unacceptable for someone who has as much power and influence as you do.

I also find it very insulting to be ignored when I need a moment of your time. Often, I will come to you with multiple issues that we need to discuss and, inevitably you will take a look at the first item and promptly get on the phone. And make me wait. Do you not realize that this is a HUGE waste of my time?

You have admitted that you are unable to multi-task, something that most people can to do to some degree. The reason that this makes me so angry is that it should be a simple matter of me walking into your office, going over each item one at a time, and leaving it with you or obtaining directions from you to complete what I am doing, and then walking out of the office. It is an utter lack of respect when you choose instead to get on the telephone to take care of one thing and make me wait in the meantime. Then, most times, when you do get off the phone, someone else will walk in your office and you then direct your attention to them and still make me wait. Every single day I waste at least two hours in your presence doing nothing. This is unacceptable to me.

Do you realize that people on the jobsite call you a pussy for a reason?

You sit in your little office in your button-down dress shirts, slacks, and penny loafers and dictate how things should run, while the men out in the field who are out there in the middle of it every day know how it runs.

You make your appearances out in the field once or twice a week, only to piss people off with your snide comments and observations. I have never met a man as stuck-up and arrogant as you. It would be one thing if you had balls and got out there and did a little work yourself, at least then the men would have some respect for you. But you are completely shameless in your inablility to do anything worthwhile on this job. Hell, if you quit tomorrow, I would be able to run this place as if nothing were different.

Well, I take that back.

If I were running this place, people would be taught how to multi-task and run a spell-check.