Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Life Covered With Dust

I wonder if I'll ever be a good writer. I'm not a child anymore, so I know that my dreams of being a famous actress or singer are slowly dwindling away to the point of impossibility. But I want to be something like that. I've always wanted to be one of those three things. Mostly, I want to be a musical artist. I've been playing the guitar for close to three years now. Not that that's a long time, cuz it's not, but I'm getting better and better. I think the only things holding me back are my fear of rejection and my choice in men. All the men I've ever dated were so short-sighted. None of them had that "reaching for your dreams" mentality. They all saw my attempts to learn music and my aspirations to be a singer pointless. Or worse, stupid. Even now, my new boyfriend and I just moved in together and you know what? In the month that we've been sharing space, I've picked up my guitar ONCE. And then he asked me, "Would you mind doing that a little later on? I can't hear the T.V." So, I don't do it when he's there. But the only time he's not there is when I'm not there (work). So what's a girl to do? I wish I was at the point in my life where I didn't have to depend on anyone anymore. Will that day ever come? It better. I'm tired of watching my guitar, and my life, collect dust.

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